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RECONNECTING
CHILDREN WITH ABSENT PARENTS
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pdf file of this article, click here:
A recent
article in Family & Conciliation Courts Review examined the delicate
question of how best to reunify parents and children who have not, for
one reason or another, been in contact with one another for a
significant period of time. This complex process is affected by many
variables, the authors believe.
Freeman,
Abel, Cowper-Smith and Stein
stress that above all else, the child’s safety must be assured. Once
that is established, they suggest that the process be conceptualized as
containing seven phases:
ü
the
development of a paced & child-centered timeline
ü
assessment of the reconnection process
ü
preparatory work with child and both parents
ü
planning first meeting
ü
facilitating early parent-child meetings
ü
creating a structured time-sharing plan
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supporting the child’s relationship with the parent and supporting the
co-parenting relationship
While
acknowledging that most authorities are convinced of the value of a
child having a relationship with both parents, the authors nevertheless
urge that the needs of the child take precedence and note that an
arbitrary timelines might not take those needs into account and may in
fact sabotage the entire process as well as increase the probability of
more litigation. Both parents and the Court must understand the need
for and agree to a timeline that focuses on the child’s needs. This
timeline must reflect the child’s ability to handle the reunification
process: “Unless the process reflects the child’s needs, the likelihood
of a meaningful and ongoing parent-child relationship developing is
minimal.”
Absences of more
than a few months generally require in-depth therapeutic intervention.
In some of the cases handled by this program, 2+ years of preparatory
work have been required before a reconnection could begin.
The
reconnection assessment task consists of several phases:
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obtaining a detailed history of each parent’s perspective
§
understanding the nature and history of the child’s relationship with the
absent parent and the reasons for the separation
§
understanding the child’s perspective about both the absence and
reconnection
§
understanding the specific challenges of reconnection for all concerned
§
conducting a thorough safety and risk assessment
Depending
on the level of the child’s resistance to reunification, there may be no
immediate goal to establish reunification. It is possible that this may
have to be delayed until some later point, when the child is more mature
or when circumstances have changed. But “understanding the child’s
story of why he or she is not seeing a parent forms the basis for all
the work that follows.”
The authors
found that counsel have “a pivotal role” in the reunification process.
Equally important is the role of the residential parent. And the
authors have also learned that this is a highly individualized process
with no universal solution.
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